My fantastically apathetic “real” health insurance company actually bought me a little extra time before my spinal surgery, and I used it to wrap up the series in a way I totally didn’t expect. I mean, not that I can ever “expect” anything from this corkscrewed grey matter of mine, but this was way the heck out there… and yet, exactly where it needed to go.
I’m not vague posting, I swear. It’s more that I’m just surprised, and it takes a LOT to surprise me.
Pattern recognition is one of my autistic “spikes”, and as a writer, it also means that I can usually see plot twists, character deaths, and reveals coming from very far ahead. Some of it is because of writers using common tropes, some of it is because human beings, even as characters, can get pretty predictable.
It’s made it quite difficult for me to watch TV or movies anymore, unless the writing is really good. Not because I think my own writing is perfect, but because I’d rather be surprised by a story, instead of just seeing how strong of a grasp on formulas the writers have.
“See that guy? They’re trying to make you care about him real quick because he’s going to die at the end of the episode.”
“See how they’re making her out to be the friendly, yet awkward outsider? She’s gonna try to kill everyone later.”
“If they didn’t die on camera, they’re not dead. Period.”
But I digress…
The point is, I’ve finished the series, and it’s not one of those “or is it?” endings. Which has given me a profound sense of relief, and a complete lack of idea what to do with the short amount of time I have left before my surgery.
It’s a strange mixture of nesting instinct and resignation. I want to get everything in order before I go off the grid again, but I’m also faced with the reality that it will be many months before I can return to productive behavior. It’s similar to the feeling I had before my son was born; hurry up and wait.
So, just in case I die horribly from a nicked artery, or permanently lose use of everything below the neck, at least I didn’t leave y’all hanging with the world of Egodrive. – K